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3 days to an uncertain future...

So it seems like my final days here in Bloomington have started. Only 3 more days until I put the rest of my belongings in my car and move somewhere else... again. LOL. Funny, it only seems like yesterday that I had packed up everything I could out of my belongings in the trunk and the back seat of a rental car and moved 800 miles away from Louisiana to Bloomington, Indiana. I did not know what to expect at all. I didn't know this town at all except for what I was told about it by my friend Leah (Hoopty), and asides from her, I did not know a single soul up here. I didn't have a place to live, and although I had a rental car to move around, I had just lost my own car so I knew that, once I returned that rental car, I would not have a means of transportation. But nonetheless, I was excited. A new chapter was starting in my life. I was going to start my first ever full-time salaried job with benefits. And for the first time in my life, I was going to move to a new place completely on my own, which honestly, I was excited about because it was going to be a test of my true independence. For the first time I was feeling like a true adult. Kinda scary, but exciting as well.

It seems like it was yesterday, but it's been a little over two years. And man, a lot has happened in those two years. Many ups and downs have come and gone. The job I moved across the country for allowed me to afford many things I had never owned before and for the first time in my life, I was completely independent. But things took a turn for the worse, and after just one year I reached a point where I had to choose between sound financial stability and my own physical and emotional well-being. I chose the latter, and along with that decision, I had to say goodbye to the job I initially moved up here for. But I still wanted to give this town a chance to give me something, anything I could build myself again from. And so I went back to waiting tables for a living. Doing so was a very humbling experience for me after experiencing a high I had never reached before. But doing so also allowed me to meet some of the most wonderful people I have ever met in my life. People that, even though I can count them with one hand, had given me a chance of feeling like I belonged in this town. People that saw me through highs and lows and were there for me every step of the way and accepted me for who I am, with all my virtues and flaws. No need to name them, as I have named them over and over again throughout my entries and they know who they are.

Even though those people will always be in my heart, one of them will always hold a very special place in my life. The one person I got the closest to and actually allowed me in his life in the way I had not experienced in a long time. When I look back in time I will remember many things out of Bloomington, but my relationship with Dustin will forever be one of the highlights. He saw me through many highs and lows, always gave me his love and support, and allowed me to share some of that love back. It was that same love that made us realize that we were in two very different stages in life and that we were better off by ourselves. But I will always love him and hold him close to me in spite of what the future holds for us.

But anyway, here I sit 3 days away from my next major move in life. The level of uncertainty in my life right now is skyrocketing to a level I have not experienced before. But I can't shut myself out or run to a corner and crawl up in fetal position as a result. I haven't shut myself out before, why should I start now? As uncertain as my future looks like at the moment, I am still looking up to it with anticipation, and a somewhat skeptic excitement.

Wow, this entry turned out to be so freaking introspective in nature.

Comments

( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
lifeofgeorge
Dec. 6th, 2006 11:40 am (UTC)
I wish you the very very best of luck with your move Fabi. I know you'll do great, because you're smart and wonderful and full of promise. I look forward to hearing how everything goes...keep us posted!!

Love ya much! 8 )
arcobaleno
Dec. 7th, 2006 03:42 pm (UTC)
I will definitely keep everyone posted, and when I move up there I will probably be posting more often due to the extra abundance of free time that comes with not having a job, LOL. Anyway, love ya very much. =)
lifeofgeorge
Dec. 8th, 2006 08:54 am (UTC)
LOL! God, do I EVER know what you mean!! Here's hoping I get a life soon...
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )

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